Bread Of Life Blog

Don't you hate people who come across with a hidden agenda? What about those who give you an earful of their problems like if they never spoke to anybody for a year? Making good and reliable friends is not an overnight process. It is also a two-way street. Can you think of anybody who could benefit from your friendship?

Friends are the next outer circle of relationships after family members. Unlike family who you did not choose, friends maintain an ongoing contact with you because they want to.

You do life together as a family because you all live at the same address and have grown through the years together.

Friendship develops through a common activity - work, school, sports, church, etc...
Unless you have a reason to spend time with each other on a regular basis you will never get to know each other well enough.

A bonding takes place out of sharing a common experience and seeing how each of you reacts differently to the same circumstances.

Later you will explore how the other person behaves, thinks and feels in situations of their own.

So what would be the dos and don'ts of good friendship?

The relationship must be balanced. You cannot draw out everything you can out of somebody and remain secretive about yourself at the same time.

The relationship must be based on self-respect. If you are from different ethnic background, religion, political persuasion you can certainly express curiosity about the other person's world but you must not present your views and lifestyle as a take-it-or-leave-it proposition. Like two good neighbours talking across each side of the fence there is no pressure for them to become like you or vice-versa.

You cannot treat a person of the opposite sex like a friend of the same sex. But you can treat a woman like a sister and a man like a brother.

Friends, especially those you have known for many years, are invaluable for seeking a second opinion or simply checking your motives or attitudes.

Friends might be the only people on earth with whom you can still be transparent. Meaning being a sounding board for each other and getting some feedback about choices you are about to make.

Just like separation and divorce there is the potential of being betrayed or hurt by a friend. The closer the relationship, the greater the damage. That does not mean you should avoid getting close with anybody. It means you should be mature enough not to become dependent on your friends. Instead of thinking of what you can get out of the relationship, you should be thinking of how you can invest in your friend's future and wellbeing.

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