Bread Of Life Encouragement Blog

Being alone is not something to shy away from. In fact there is much healing in listening to the sound of your own silence.

Just like each relationship started one day each relationship will also end one day. It is a fact of life. Welcome to the real world. The issue is that as we seek out and foster new relationships some of our current ones may come to an abrupt end for no fault of our own. Obviously separation and divorce come blaring loud in our mind but may I suggest that each one of us will be called to widowhood. Unless both spouses die together in the same car or plane crash one will survive the other by 5, 10, 15, 20 years...

Bad love is better than no love at all? I beg to differ. Leaning onto someone else instead of standing firm on your own two feet is called being co-dependant. It is the fastest way to ruin a relationship. You tend to attract people like yourself. So if you are out of balance you will seek solace with people who are also off kilter and the vicious cycle of misery repeats itself.

Have you even considered that God Himself might be the one to pull the plug on your merry-go-round in order to get your attention and get you to address issues swept under the carpet all this time? God is in the character building business and He doesn't mind breaking a few eggs to make an omelette. There is a day of reckoning for each one of us. In order to be fit for eternity we have to undergo a refining process. Discipline is never pleasant at the time but in the end it produces the fruit that we can boast about. If you are currently undergoing a time of loneliness - don't fight it - embrace it. Learn how to make peace with yourself. Learn how to talk to yourself and forgive yourself. Learn how to improve the quality of your self-talk. People who talk to themselves are not cuckoo. They are the ones who can shut down the onslaught of nonsense coming out of the TV to take the time to have a good one on one talk in the mirror.

Instead of running around aimlessly to bolster your self-esteem why don't you start at home? What you think about yourself will determine your future. You can rip out the batteries from your clock but time will still tick along. In fact there will be a day of reckoning where we will each individually have to give an account of what we've done with that precious amount of time we have been given on earth.

There are three slices of our time: the past, the present and the future. The past is closed. You may have good memories of the good old days but you can't live in them. Photos and videos may still bear witness of things gone by but unless you are an historian you don't want to dwell there. Be thankful of what you enjoyed but have the courage to say goodbye.

The future has a way of catching up on us. Ever wondered if you could freeze time and stop those bills from arriving in the mail? In fact people say: "Have you noticed how time flies on us?" What you are doing today is a direct result of what you did yesterday and last week and the month before and last year. It's all coming to fruition - today!

So our lives are so ordained that today is where you should make things count. That's the perfect antidote to loneliness. Find something good to do today and you won't feel lonely! Find out what you are good at and do it with all your might. Then you will have friends who will appreciate you for who you are and what you stand for - not for what they can get out of you.

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You are in a relationship for what you can get out of it, right? Are there ways to ensure you will have a smooth ride?

These days you can take up insurance on just about anything. Can you insure a new relationship will pan out as you would like? Can you find the perfect mule loaded with cash, who is dumb enough to stare at you always with pink sunglasses, but smart enough to bring lots of bacon home?

What would such a test involve? How would you rate the resolve of Prince Charming to fight off the dragon and rescue you from the dungeon in your castle? Are there any clues as to how an elegant young man would behave if you could get his undivided attention?

What about if you turn out to be the incompatible one? What about if a long lasting relationship was a two way street, give and take situation? What if you get out of it what you put into it? Like a love bank really. You can only draw out if you have made a deposit into the other person first. Oh, that's becoming personal... No more free rides...

What if we have to redefine what love is? "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails."

How long can you afford to crash-burn and move from one disaster to the next? Can you ever take responsibility for your actions and make yourself accountable to that someone special you have pledged to do life together?

What would a compatibility test look like now? Trust needs to be earned. Your word is worth nothing until you have demonstrated you are prepared to go the extra mile. Bear in mind that different people have one particular way to receive affection as genuine. If you can't take the trouble to find out what is the suitable format to get through to that person, you will fail.

Being in love last only for a while. What matters is how you can humble yourself to come to the level of your partner and meet their needs. Then and only then have you released them to also meet your needs. Someone has to start first. It might as well be you. Will you pass the test?

To find out more about Christian values check out http://witness4christ.net

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Are you alone, lonely or lonesome? Being the only person living at your abode is not a death sentence. Maybe something on the inside needs to die first before you can move on with your life.

Do you need to connect with someone of the opposite sex to become somebody? Would you rather be self-sufficient in order to stand up on your own two feet? There are seasons in life which can be brought in by unforseen circumstances. God can bring the good out of a bad experience. Will you let Him this time or will you have to go through the experience one more time to learn your lesson?

In fact you are never alone. Even in solitary confinement God is there. The problem it's hard to get His phone number or hang out at a coffee shop with Him. You have two choices: Either spiral down to a deeper pity party with yourself or rise up to His level.

The fact that God loves you and cares for you should be great comfort to many lonely hearts. Maybe the one thing God wants you to learn this time is this: You are ready for a new relationship when you do not need a new relationship. Astounding isn't it? Another pet phrase to ponder about is this: It is more blessed to give than to receive.

Now you've got it. The cure to loneliness is to turn the tables around. Instead of focusing on your own big fat self find an issue in your world you can become passionate about and give it your 110%. Then and only then as you freely give of your effort and substance with altruistic motives will you attract like minded people who will want to share the journey with you.

There is a link between boredom, loneliness, lack of goals and self-esteem. You will find your identity by what you believe and that will manifest itself by what you do.

So is God unfair by letting you be miserable in that pit of despair? Not at all. He looks at you from an eternal standpoint and sees the finished product in you. You only see the narrow slice of time where you are right now. The missing ingredient is faith. The ability to trust God to make you the person He created you to be - will you cooperate or will you rebel against His plan for your life?

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Don't you hate people who come across with a hidden agenda? What about those who give you an earful of their problems like if they never spoke to anybody for a year? Making good and reliable friends is not an overnight process. It is also a two-way street. Can you think of anybody who could benefit from your friendship?

Friends are the next outer circle of relationships after family members. Unlike family who you did not choose, friends maintain an ongoing contact with you because they want to.

You do life together as a family because you all live at the same address and have grown through the years together.

Friendship develops through a common activity - work, school, sports, church, etc...
Unless you have a reason to spend time with each other on a regular basis you will never get to know each other well enough.

A bonding takes place out of sharing a common experience and seeing how each of you reacts differently to the same circumstances.

Later you will explore how the other person behaves, thinks and feels in situations of their own.

So what would be the dos and don'ts of good friendship?

The relationship must be balanced. You cannot draw out everything you can out of somebody and remain secretive about yourself at the same time.

The relationship must be based on self-respect. If you are from different ethnic background, religion, political persuasion you can certainly express curiosity about the other person's world but you must not present your views and lifestyle as a take-it-or-leave-it proposition. Like two good neighbours talking across each side of the fence there is no pressure for them to become like you or vice-versa.

You cannot treat a person of the opposite sex like a friend of the same sex. But you can treat a woman like a sister and a man like a brother.

Friends, especially those you have known for many years, are invaluable for seeking a second opinion or simply checking your motives or attitudes.

Friends might be the only people on earth with whom you can still be transparent. Meaning being a sounding board for each other and getting some feedback about choices you are about to make.

Just like separation and divorce there is the potential of being betrayed or hurt by a friend. The closer the relationship, the greater the damage. That does not mean you should avoid getting close with anybody. It means you should be mature enough not to become dependent on your friends. Instead of thinking of what you can get out of the relationship, you should be thinking of how you can invest in your friend's future and wellbeing.

If you want to know a friend that will never turn you down, no matter what you have done click here

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It is so easy to lose friends, just do nothing, don't call back and the relationship dies a natural death. Making new friends on the other hand never happens by accident. It takes a concerted effort to build up trust and rapport. But it is well worth it.

Shyness is defined as lacking self-confidence or being distrustful. If some poor encounter in the past has coloured your expectation of strangers, here is a recovery plan for you:

One - The past is the past. Get over it. You might have been the ridicule of your class at school. You might have been embarrassed in some situation. You might have been turned down through dating. You might have missed out on being selected for your sports team - whatever the reason remember this: It's not what happened to you that matters. It's the way you handle it. You can continue to survive in that little prison of your mind or you can smash the walls and set yourself free. Today is the beginning of your new life.

Two - Put yourself in situations where you will indeed meet strangers. I don't mean walking around a busy train station although you might take advantage of the situation of people waiting on the platform to strike a conversation. It is only in big cities that talking to strangers is a social taboo. Folks from the country will gladly converse with anyone in sight. When you spend your life in the open space doing animal husbandry, any human being is fair game to enquire and converse.

Three - Practice small talk. While you are queuing at the checkout, compliment the person in front of you. Go to parties. Don't just stand there feeding your face. Without food in your mouth it's easier to volunteer a remark if someone you don't know passes by. Introduce yourself, ask for the other person's name. memorize it straight away. People will always be well dispositioned towards you if they find out you remembered their name.

Four - Show genuine interest in the values of others. Again that's another chance to juggle your memory. People will naturally talk about their interests. Be a good listener. Pepper the talk with pointed questions like; "How is that?" "How often do you do that?" "How long did it take you to learn that skill?" and so on...

Five - Offer to help with no strings attached. Say something like: "I don't know if that can help you but in the past I have done this or that... I'll be happy to do it again." That would give you a reason to exchange contacts.

Six - Not everyone is your cup of tea, but you will only find out if you try. Appearances are deceptive. An outgoing person can turn out to be a real pain-in-the-neck and an introverted civil servant can turn out to have a really warm personality. Don't let the experience reinforce what caused you to become shy in the first place. You have been delivered from that. Stamp it out if it tries to cling on you again...

If you want to know a friend that will never turn you down, no matter what you have done click here

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